The gospel...

Anyone can find themselves out of their depth

- Dave Selby

Sailors have long had a troubled relationship with water – ever since biblical times when Noah failed his Day Skipper practical on tidal heights and got extremely neaped on top of Mt Ararat, only to be abandoned there by the rest of the crew. Frankly, they behaved like animals, which is not that unusual on a flotilla holiday.

And as for Moses, the so-called miracle of parting the Red Sea did earn him a pass as it demonstrated a better understanding of tidal calculations, but suspicions remains to this day about whether the work was really his own.

Remember, he’d just come down off Mt Zion where a very tall and imposing figure with a booming voice and luxuriant white hair and matching face furniture much like Father Christmas gave him some kind of tip-off. I don’t know exactly what Tom Cunliffe was doing up there, but whatever it was it took Moses ages to tap it onto his tablet. What really puzzles me about that is why when they already had tablets were later versions printed on reeds?

In the event