WHY I LOVE MY KIDS LESS NOW

As her children get older, Clare O'Reilly, 45, reveals her feelings towards them have changed

- WORDS: CLARE O'REILLY

When my 14-year-old daughter Annie told me that I gave her the ‘ick’, I rightly guessed it wasn’t a compliment. Closing her bedroom door, I reached for my phone and googled the definition: ‘Causing someone to suddenly feel a strong sense of disgust or repulsion towards you, often due to a specific behaviour or trait.’ Ouch.

The action that had triggered such indignation? Simply asking if she wanted to join me and our three dogs for a walk.

While I should have just got the fresh air and calm I very much needed, I flung open her door and reminded her she once loved me so much she'd follow me to the toilet. She barely looked up from her phone, but I definitely spotted an eye roll as I closed her door and headed out into the elements with my dogs, Huck, Bluebell and Luna, who still love me unconditionally.

Despite the combined 68 hours I spent in labour giving birth to Annie and her two brothers, becoming a mother was the best thing I ever did - until now.

I miss the days of my kids’ unwavering love, but more than that, I miss when they were easy to love. That golden era of cuddles and dreamy-eyed looks as they fell asleep in my arms now replaced by sassiness, eye rolls and sarcastic comments.

DIFFICULT AGE

Multiple studies have found the hardest age to parent is 15 years old and with a child on either side of that magic number, I wholly agree. I know from friends I'm not alone, either.

Our teenagers seem to push us to breaking point almost daily, which makes it hard to love them like I did when they were easier and adored me rather than cringing at my very presence.