STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU

Feeling like the jam being squished between the slices of your family-sized sourdough bread? Throwing another generation into the mix of juggling work and life and your own expenses and time can take things to the next level. Welcome to the sandwich generation.

- Nicci Botha

The sandwich generation. The term was first coined in 1981 when American social worker Dorothy Miller used it to describe women in their 30s and 40s who were 'sandwiched' between caring for young children and their elderly parents. These days, the concept has expanded to reflect more complex family structures and care dynamics as well, such as supporting young adult children.

While multigenerational living has been the norm in Asian countries for decades, the perfect storm of longevity and delayed parenthood has seen this trend growing in other parts of the world too. Parents who have outlived their retirement savings or just not saved enough shift the responsibility of care and support to their children, who, in turn, are in the thick of dealing with school runs or grownup children of their own who can't afford to move out of home.

Besides the obvious financial impact — a 2024 Carers UK report showed one-third of UK carers are 'just about getting by', and one in 10 is 'finding it difficult' or 'very difficult' to cope — the emotional toll includes burnout, guilt, anxiety and feelings of overwhelm. On average, almost 27% of UK sandwich carers are facing mental health challenges, higher than the norm, 22%.

A 2023 US study reported that 12–24% of adults are in the sandwich generation, and are showing significantly higher rates of burnout and depression than non-caregivers.

Closer to home, one in four middle-aged South Africans is financially and emotionally supporting both older and younger generations, according to Old Mutual's 2023 Savings Monitor.

So-called 'black tax' — the financial support black South Africans are often expected to give to parents, siblings, or extended family — adds another dimension: A 2022 Sanlam survey reported that 68% of black respondents were sending money to family every month, sometimes before paying for their own needs or fulfilling their savings goals.