Not your average detox

I checked into a hospital in India for three weeks of Ayurvedic treatment. Here's what I experienced and learnt from this ancient healing science

- PNINA FENSTER

On Christmas Day 2022, I woke early, dressed swiftly and headed for my destination. No time to linger and enjoy the views of Vembanad Lake from the Grand Hyatt Kochi Bolgatty lobby or to admire the treasures in the hotel’s jewel-box store. My husband and I had one goal in mind: the Malabar Café and the buffet breakfast for which the hotel is renowned.

We joined families, honeymoon couples and Christmas-time tourists to survey pastry, cheese and fruit stands, tables of casseroles and curries, and cooking stations where chefs steamed, grilled, fried and magicked up a cornucopia of spicy South Indian dishes. I settled on two dosa with coconut and peanut chutneys, three idli with a side of masala so hot it was called ‘gunpowder’, and a generous serving of chilli-flavoured beef sausages.

Next up? Second servings of all the aforementioned.

‘And after this, I’m having a waffle,’ I told my husband.

‘A waffle? When last did you eat waffles?’ he asked.

‘Maybe 25 years ago, but who’s counting? I’m going to enjoy all of this as long as possible, including the waffle. With cream.’

‘And after that?’

I considered the options. Ten days of full-on food indulgence preceded by years of disorderly eating were about to end. The answer to his question was obvious. ‘After the waffle, a strong coffee, of course.’

‘Order me a cortado,’ he said. ‘I’m going to get a croissant.’

‘And perhaps some of that cake?’