"I already know the answer but, seriously, who put me in charge?"

Dealing with heavy weather in AGAINST THE STORM

- JESS KINGHORN

The harpies of my latest soggy settlement are not happy. Despite the endless, blighted rain stripping these feathered friends of their ability to fly generations ago, more of them take wing from my put-upon outpost every season. The cause of this collective exit? A lack of jerky.

Obviously, the harpies' unhappiness doesn't begin and end with jerky - it's just the cherry on the cake of their discontent. But add to that a lack of stimulating reading material, a severe shortage of coats to keep out the ever-present damp, plus almost no suitable housing, and it's clear the winged ones aren't just whinging. I mean, my failure to stop that magical explosion last season also didn't really help with morale.