Women Shouldn't Feel 'Paiseh' for Speaking Up About Their Well-Being

In the workplace, let's normalize 'women's pains' and the mental stress of pregnancy and menopause. Offer support, not judgment.

- Dawn Soo

As a working mother of two, I have at times gone the extra mile to balance my different roles in life.

Even before finishing my maternity leave, I started taking work calls, feeling bad I had been away for months. When I stayed up looking after my sick children, I decided not to take time off the next day to rest, for fear of imposing on colleagues.

This situation is familiar to many women. We often find ourselves putting family and work first. Our needs end up being neglected, at a cost to our physical and mental health.

There are two aspects to this. We are either too preoccupied with other things to recognize personal health issues, or we feel bad about taking time to address them, feeling we are letting our co-workers or family down. We feel "paiseh", or sorry, with some shame or embarrassment.

Indeed, 10 percent more working women than men in Singapore get stressed about their relationships with people including family members, friends and others, according to a 2024 study by my firm, Cigna Healthcare, in which we surveyed more than 10,000 respondents in 11 markets.

This might explain why we feel "paiseh" about letting co-workers or family down when we take time out for ourselves.

For women, the consequences of not addressing health issues can be dire. One might soldier on, and a seemingly minor condition could end up requiring invasive treatment. For an employer, workplace productivity is affected. The employee may also quit, and talent is lost.

We need to cultivate a workplace and societal culture that encourages women to speak up about health-related issues and seek the help they need, without feeling bad about it.

"WOMEN'S PAINS" AND HOW THEY AFFECT WORK