No children, no problem?

Should I worry about who's going to look after me as I age? There are at least four areas I need to plan for as I navigate my childfree future.

- Sumiko Tan

Regrets, I've come to realise, are built on best-case scenarios, a world where everything works out perfectly.

So if I had, say, two children in this perfect world, they'd be in their late 20s or early 30s by now. They'd be healthy, kind and smart, and in stable careers and happy relationships.

They'd be close to my husband and me, checking in on us regularly, not because they have to, but because they like our company.

But reality is seldom so rosy.

I don't regret being childless or childfree, the more politically correct term used for people who choose not to have kids as opposed to those who wish to but can't.

But in the back of my brain, "what-if" and "if-only" thoughts nag at me. This usually happens when I'm being a particularly filial daughter to my mother (which isn't all that often).

After a long day of running errands for her, or when I go out of my way to do something nice like take her on holiday, I wonder: Without offspring, who's going to be doing all this for me when I'm at her age?

The idea of having children occupied a chunk of my young adulthood, though in a vague, romanticised and superficial way. I saw parenthood in terms of sweet-smelling babies, playthings almost, like adopting another puppy.

The hard parts — PSLE, financial strain, lifelong worry — I didn't dwell on since children weren't going to happen as I wasn't married.

For a while, being around my sister's daughter and son fed my broody instincts. Then they entered their teens and had their own lives, which had no space for an aunt.

By the time I finally got married at 46, I had become a different person. The yearning for children had long faded. After spending most of my life as a single, adjusting to a husband was already a challenge; adding children to the mix would have been unthinkable.