Living with dignity after stoma surgery

Caring for a person with a stoma is also about helping them find peace and providing them emotional support.

- Chong Joon Lan

On a quiet April morning, in a busy hospital ward, the care team met Madam Lee for the first time. Just a few hours before this, she had undergone an emergency operation that would change her life forever.

The surgery on the large intestines left her not only with a sizeable abdominal wound but also a stoma, a surgically created opening in the abdomen to divert waste out of the body. This is done when the natural route is no longer possible, usually as a result of severe inflammation, tumour or injury of the colon. The stoma is by the cut end of the intestine, and waste is collected in a stoma bag or pouch attached to the skin.

Madam Lee was quiet initially, her eyes staring into the distance, when she was told about her condition and the likelihood that it would be permanent. She nodded politely as I stayed by her bedside, gently explaining the care process, showing her the pouch, answering questions she didn’t think to ask yet. But I sensed she was struggling to come to terms with the outcome of the surgery.

"Let the disease take its course," she said later to the medical team, making known her decision to refuse further treatment. "What kind of life is this with a bag stuck to your body?"

The next day, I returned. I pulled up a chair beside her and said to her: "Madam Lee... it’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to feel sad. But can I walk this road with you? Just one day at a time."

That day, she cried. So, did I. Over time, she revealed her fears not of pain or death, but of living differently.

"How can I go back to my dancing class?"

"What if the bag leaks while I’m dancing the cha-cha?"

"What if it smells... and people stare?"

Her biggest fear was not medical in nature. It was about losing her dignity, freedom and joy.