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Does conflict with friends make you squirm?

The Straits Times

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March 13, 2025

How we deal with it might make the relationship stronger.

- Raquel Peel

Some friendships outlast romantic connections and can prove to be more meaningful. Friends help us get through day-to-day challenges and make the tough stuff more bearable. For older people, a close circle of friends is associated with living longer.

But having close friends can also involve conflict and even break-ups. Breaking up with a friend can be as devastating as breaking up with an intimate partner.

For most of us, friendship is the first close relationship we will form outside the home environment.

Learning to communicate and manage conflict with friends starts in childhood, and shapes our personal and social development, as well as our self-esteem.

So how can we deal with conflict in adult friendships in a healthy way? And how do you know if it's time to call it quits on the friendship?

HOW IS CONFLICT DIFFERENT IN FRIENDSHIPS?

Relationships with friends are often seen as needing less work to maintain than other kinds of relationships. They might be less structured than work relationships and less involved than romantic relationships.

The dynamic of our friendships is often very different from how we relate to work colleagues and romantic partners.

Some of the characteristics we display with friends might also be very different from how we behave with others. Male friendships, for example, often involve using insults to show a close bond.

For some people, it can be difficult to transition to a relationship where you can be yourself, be vulnerable and have difficult conversations.

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