Death is not a scary topic for Darren Cheng

The funeral director, who has authored children's books on the topic, says parents can also broach the subject using movies and literature

- Elisa Chia Correspondent

Coping with the death of a loved one is always challenging. But for parents with young children, the situation becomes even more daunting as they must also help their little ones understand the loss and process their feelings.

Mr Darren Cheng, who has three kids aged four, six and seven, knows this all too well.

In 2019, the younger of his two sisters, Cheng Cai Yi, was suddenly diagnosed with leukaemia. She died from the illness in 2022 at the age of 30.

As the chief executive of Direct Funeral Services, he has supported grieving families.

"I have helped many clients process loss. When it came to my turn, my loss wasn't any less painful, but it was more manageable," the 40-year-old says.

His kids would pick up on his sadness and ask him why. "I told them it was because of their xiao gu (Chinese for youngest aunt)," he recalls. Grief sometimes made him short-tempered too.

As the heartache of losing his sister eased over time, he decided to write a picture book to explain loss and grief to his children and others.

While this is his third book for children on the subject of death, The Colours Of Missing You is more personal. Launched in August, it tells the story of a girl navigating an emotional roller coaster after her best friend's death.

Mr Cheng's work draws on the five stages of grief outlined in Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross' 1969 book On Death And Dying. Famously known as the Kubler-Ross model, these stages - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance represent a pattern of adjustment to loss.

He expanded on the stages, using the rainbow's seven colours to better explain the strong waves of emotions that come with loss.

Red, for example, signifies anger, while blue is for overwhelming sadness. He added an eighth colour, grey, to symbolise denial.