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Can you bully-proof your child?

The Straits Times

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May 25, 2025

Over the past few weeks, there were days when my four-year-old son came back from school seething with indignation.

- Lianne Chia

Can you bully-proof your child?

One day, two of his classmates taunted him and blocked him from taking a book he wanted. Another day, a child told the rest of the class not to play with him. And once, a group of children knocked down a brick structure he was building.

My first reaction was shock, disbelief and dismay. "Is he being bullied?" I wondered, as I soothed my aggrieved son. Is that even possible, at that age?

After all, I rationalised, they're pre-schoolers. It didn't seem likely that these children would be acting with malicious intent, or fully understood the consequences of their actions.

But it also made me concerned about what could happen in future. My son is reserved by nature, and usually takes time to warm up in social situations. While his peers may enjoy kicking a ball around or chasing one another, he tends to prefer quieter, more solitary pursuits, like reading, writing stories or drawing in his sketchbook.

He might only be four. But when he gets older, is he more likely to be targeted by bullies?

A HOT-BUTTON TOPIC

Bullying is, without a doubt, a hot-button topic. When videos of bullying or fighting incidents go viral online, the response from netizens can be swift and heated.

A quick scan of some of the posts in parents' groups on social media highlights that bullying is indeed a topic that elicits much concern. It is not uncommon to see posts from anxious parents wondering if the primary school they're considering for their child has a "bullying culture". Other schools are vilified for having "discipline problems".

There are also anecdotes shared by parents about bullying incidents their child was subjected to that fill me – and other parents, judging by the comments – with horror.

Of course, none of this is verifiable. But what stands out is an underlying fear of their child being in a situation where they could be bullied.

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