1 Woman grandmaster v 3 inept journalists = major humiliation

In their bid to taste high-class sport, to get under its sweaty skin, to investigate talent, journalists will sustain broken noses, mental scarring and do excessively unreasonable things.

- Rohit Brijnath

In January 1959, George Plimpton, editor of The Paris Review, convinced Archie Moore, the world light-heavyweight boxing champion, to spar three rounds with him. Nearly 66 years later, reporters from The Straits Times sports desk have an equally painful idea. Kimberly Kwek, Melvyn Teoh and I decide to play a woman grandmaster in chess.

The result is ugly.

Moore, the boxer, was called "The Old Mongoose". If he was tricky and intelligent, we confront something equally resourceful. A Lady Gaga-liking, four-language speaking prodigy who has the same name as the mysterious captain in 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea.

No one in France, where she began playing chess, could pronounce Zhou Qiyu. So she became Nemo, won the Finnish Under-10 championship at five, is now a streamer with 346,000 followers on Twitch, has 174,000 subscribers on YouTube, romances poker and is ominously dressed for the day. "I actually picked the dress based on the shape of the piece." She means the black queen.

Nemo is a guest of the Singapore Chess Federation, for it takes more than hushed halls to promote chess. It also requires this woman who sits at a table overlooking the waterfall at Jewel with $100 beside her. Beat her in chess, you get the money. Roughly 20 people try but earn only a smile.