'Snow White' is no poisoned apple but it doesn't whistle

Mirror mirror on the wall, what's the fairest Disney live-action remake of them all?

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Wait, mirror. Hold on a second. Maybe choosing from the likes of "Alice in Wonderland" (2010), "Mulan" (2020) and "The Lion King" (2019) isn't such a good idea. Mirror, on second thought, what's on Netflix?

Even the most devoted fans would have to acknowledge that these have not been the most illustrious illustrations of Disney magic. At their best ("Pete's Dragon"? "Cinderella"?) they breathe life into old classics that could use a little updating. At their worst, well, blue Will Smith.

Given the rapacious rate of remakes in modern Hollywood, it's remarkable that it's taken nearly 90 years for Disney to return to "Snow White." It means going back to the very foundation of the Mouse House. The 1937 "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" was Disney's first animated feature; its grosses paid for the studio's Burbank lot.

That legacy of "Snow White," by comparison, doesn't do any favors to Marc Webb's inevitably lesser, inert live-action retread. Good intentions, like swirling bluebirds, flutter through this "Snow White": to give its singing protagonist (Rachel Zegler) more agency; to expand that notion of "fair" beyond skin tone; to reframe that problematic prince. But all that updating adds up to a mishmash of a fable, caught in between now and once upon a time.