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New trend of 'dating down' is just monstrous to behold

The Independent

|

September 12, 2025

Shrekking – or deliberately courting 'ugly' men – is a new low for love in the age of social media

- By Olivia Petter

New trend of 'dating down' is just monstrous to behold

In the 2001 animated classic Shrek, a princess falls in love with an ogre. It’s a simple, straightforward plot predicated on the idea that looks don’t matter, because true love always prevails. Except, that’s not really the premise at all. Spoiler alert: the princess is secretly an ogre herself.

Despite being one of the most well-known and revered pieces of pop culture (for good reason: The muffin man! Puss in Boots! The dragon who falls in love with a donkey!), Shrek evidently remains woefully misunderstood. At least, that’s the takeaway from the latest viral dating trend currently dominating digital discourse, which has been somewhat heinously named “Shrekking”.

Like with all of these strange, internet-speak terms, the origins of Shrekking are almost impossible to pinpoint. And yet, practically overnight, it seems to have developed a ubiquitous online presence, and one clear definition: Shrekking is when women intentionally date less attractive men in the hope that doing so will ensure they’re treated better. It’s about this idea of dating down, which reduces romance to a superficial metrics system; if the person you’re with is less valuable than you, either in terms of looks, intelligence, or potentially even earnings, then you're guaranteed to be treated well by them out of sheer gratitude. In other words, they’re just lucky you picked them! They’ll treat you like a princess! You'll never get hurt again!

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