Kemi and Mel serve up a sketchwriter's dream as they pluck figures out of the air for giggles

There was a time when you knew where you were with a press conference.

- John Crace

You would go along on the assumption that the person or organisation who had called it had something important to say.

But we live in ever more confusing days. So now we've reached the point where Kemi Badenoch and Mel Stride will do almost anything for attention. Where a press conference is just another excuse for a therapy session where they can unload their familiar grievances on to journalists. It's the only way they can get anyone to listen.

Mind you, a Kemi press conference - even a meta one - is never without its entertainment value. It's not beyond the realms of possibility yesterday's invitation to Conservative Campaign Headquarters in Westminster was devised purely for the benefit of sketchwriters. Or maybe it was one of the Tory party's better April fools. In either case, a big thank you.