For an hour, Kemi steps into a parallel universe where she holds the country in her hands

This is the end, beautiful friend, the end.

- John Crace

And not a moment too soon. The coup de grace, the leader’s speech from Kemi Badenoch. Her first and almost certainly her last. Half her membership want her gone now. The other half are happy to give her until next year.

But for this hour, all hostilities were to be forgiven. No matter that this conference had been dead on arrival. This was to be a remembrance of times past. A parallel universe where Kemi held the country in her hands. Where there was standing room only. Everyone knew that nothing Kemi had to say was of any meaning. Because none of this was going to happen. And yet they cheered and clapped and gave her standing ovation after standing ovation. There were chants of “Kemi, Kemi” from the very people who want her gone. The very essence of Tory Little Britain.

Her speech was adequate. Which, by the standards of the past few days, could be considered a triumph. Better than anyone could have hoped for.