Don't you ever call me a cup.

I've never liked them. “Oh look at me, I’m all fancy with a fancy saucer and a fancy handle.” But have you ever heard of someone having a favourite cup? Exactly.

- 

It’s not a thing. Mugs on the other hand, well, everyone has their favourite. You know where you stand with me. Like a firm handshake. No need to stick your pinkie out when you take a sip. No airs and graces. If I had it my way, the top rack of every dishwasher would be full of mugs. Nothing but mugs as far as the eye can see. Speaking of dishwashers, this one time, it was just me, three side plates and a cup. Just the five of us. I tried to warm things up with a few gags: “Call this full? There’s enough space left in this dishwasher to hold Parliament, though I doubt they’d get anything washed. Why, I’ve seen more crockery packed into a bish