Oh no...this time I've really methed up!

NORWICH is the thriving hub of Britain's crystal meth drug trade. Who knew? It's a bit like discovering TV's Vera was a secret dogging enthusiast.

- GARRY BUSHELL

Channel 4's 24 Hours In Police Custody introduced us to Toby Bunting, a senior clinical nurse recovering from heart surgery with an unexpected sideline in peddling class A narcotics.

If Bunting hadn't fallen asleep in a lay-by after a party, the police would never have discovered bags of the vile gear, AKA Christina or Tina, in his car along with sex-toys and enough Viagra to stock a chemist's. Whose party was this? The Marilyn Manson fan club?

Bunting lied, cried, and denied everything, telling cops, "I didn't know there was going to be drugs at the party. I was asked to get rid of it and that's how it ended up in my vehicle." Of course!

One weary officer replied, "I'll be totally honest with you, Toby. I don't believe anything you've told us there." Realising nobody would, Bunting pleaded guilty and copped two and half years behind bars.

Meanwhile, Axel Cruz, a Mexican tattoo artist also operating in Norwich, had 12 kilos of "Tina" at home with a street value of £1.6million and a machete, presumably to trim the hedge.

Cruz's hoard was uncovered after Stansted Airport custom officials found cocaine hidden inside gym equipment sent from Colombia and addressed to his flat.

He was jailed for 16 years.

But I did feel for jobless Daniel Fordham whod agreed to store Cruz's stash for £15,000 and got arrested in front of his children. Ironically he'd just successfully applied to become a prison warden.