The double standards of confidence

POWERFUL AGENTS OF CHANGE

- LISA SUKDEV

SHE speaks up in a meeting - clear, direct, unapologetic. Later, she hears the whisper: “She's a bit aggressive, isn’t she?”

Sound familiar? Across the world, women are stepping into leadership in unprecedented numbers. They are leading governments, building businesses, shaping communities, and redefining what influence looks like in modern society.

And yet, despite this undeniable progress, many are still navigating a quieter, more insidious challenge, that is, how their confidence is perceived.

A man who speaks with authority is seen as decisive. A woman who does the same is often labelled “bossy” or “difficult”.

A man who sets boundaries is respected. A woman who asserts hers is sometimes perceived as unapproachable.

The behaviour is identical, the interpretation is not. This is not just a gender issue. It is a reflection of something deeper: the lens through which we see the world.

In South Africa, and particularly within communities where tradition, family and cultural expectations are deeply rooted, these perceptions are often amplified.

Many of us were raised in environments where women were taught to be accommodating, to keep the peace, to place others before themselves. And while there is beauty in humility and care, there is also a cost when these expectations silence a woman’s voice or diminish her presence.