Struggling to stay afloat in swimming war of words

DOUBLE TROUBLE FOR A FIRST TIME DAD OF TWINS Struggling to stay afloat in swimming war of words

- RICHARD IRVINE

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion it has taken place," the playwright George Bernard Shaw once wrote.

It would be surprising if he imagined this would sum up how I interact with my children, but he's nailed it.

I'm talking, but no one's listening is the general theme, and this week, Emma decided she wasn't going to her pre-paid swimming lesson.

Since she has a keen eye on inequality, I guessed her decision was down to her brother being unable to go due to an ear infection.

She felt it unjust he was allowed to luxuriate on the sofa, watching grown men play computer games on YouTube, while she had to partake in something healthy.

Initially, I imagined she was simply making a point, since she enjoys swimming. So, I started negotiations gently, calmly saying, 'put your shoes on', which she didn't.