He is there, but not there: Watching a son move forward

I was floating in happy thoughts in the past month, spending time with my son Carlos who now lives in New Zealand. When he and RJ, his wife, left years ago, he was my adventure buddy with the time and interest for long conversations with me. When he came home, I was flooded with joy and something else I didn’t expect — a realization that the boy who was once my buddy, my travel partner, is no longer mine in the way he used to be.

- PINKY CONCHA COLMENARES

For years, even while working on a career, Carlos was my constant companion. We climbed mountains together, sharing the thrill of reaching summits. We took long drives, crossing islands by RORO ferry, laughing at detours, savoring the unplanned stops along the way, arguing about distances to a destination. He dropped everything when I invited him to go abroad with me. He was always ready for the next journey, my willing accomplice in discovering life outside the ordinary. He was not just my son; he was also my friend.

But this visit reminded me that things have changed. At 37, he is now the head of his own family. His days revolve around bikes and bike tours in that beautiful part of the world where nature puts up a magnificent show in every corner. After work, he is a father, playing with Oli, his daughter, putting her to sleep, and keeping routines. At home, he is the man of the house, performing tasks we don’t do in our country, like chopping wood and feeding the fireplace.