Everyone uses this coping strategy. When does it become a problem?

'Masking' is part of life, especially for those with autism or ADHD but hiding your true self comes with a cost.

- Christina Caron

(Vanessa Saba/The New York Times)

When Amara Brook was training to be a clinical psychologist, a supervisor offered some advice before an important meeting about a patient: Stay quiet and listen to your superiors.

In the hierarchical medical field, deferring to authority figures and navigating big egos is the norm. But for Dr Brook, who has attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder and autism, the unwritten social rules were tough to follow.

So Dr Brook clamped down on a Jolly Rancher. The candy formed a type of cement between the teeth - a “muzzle,” Dr Brook said; without it, the strong urge to speak up would have prevailed and “definitely ruffled feathers.”

Dr Brook was using a coping skill called masking: concealing thoughts or behaviours to fit in.

“Sometimes we just have to do what’s effective, you know?” Dr Brook said, but there’s a downside - when you're “putting on a show all the time, it’s exhausting.”

Masking can help anyone navigate challenging environments, like the workplace. But for people with autism and ADHD, covering up unconventional social behaviour can become a nonstop survival strategy. And when masking feels constant and unavoidable, it can create or exacerbate mental health problems.