Crossing the bridge of life with courage

WHAT FEELS AND LOOKS LIKE HAPPINESS IS A CONSTANTLY SHIFTING GOALPOST, LINKED TO THE IDEA OF ARRIVAL FALLACY

- Sonali Gupta

28-year-old client in therapy tells me, "All of my social media timeline is filled with narratives of how to work towards happiness. However, everyone, including me, seems to be unhappy, struggling or feeling disgruntled with life. Do you think I am chasing the wrong goal?"

Over the last few years, I have also noticed a trend where the pursuit of happiness has taken the shape of an obsession and led to a compulsive need to act, behave, think in ways whereby we believe we will achieve happiness.

This lens rests on a faulty premise that happiness is a destination or a place where we can reach and that once there, the feeling will continue to linger.

Secondly, it seems premised on the fact that if we behave in certain ways, the results will always work in our favour. This creates an illusion of control, whereby we forget that there are factors we can control such as how hard we work, the effort we put in, the values we bring to our relationships but at the same time there are factors which are beyond our control such as a volatile economy, natural disasters, illnesses or accidents.