The moment I thought, this can't go on...

Fiance's disappearance brought back memories of brother's death

- BY TOM BRYANT Associate Editor (Showbiz)

SHIRLEY Ballas remembers the exact moment when her world came crashing down.

Cuddling up in bed with her 87-year-old mum Audrey at 9pm on her 64th birthday, her phone suddenly lit up.

It was a relative of her fiance, actor Danny Taylor, telling her he had gone missing, his phone was off and his family were very worried about him.

Strictly Come Dancing judge Shirley was engulfed by harrowing thoughts of her brother David, who had taken his own life in 2003, aged 44.

"All those memories came flooding back... it triggered all these emotions," she says quietly.

Her number was passed to the police, who were also concerned about the circumstances, and she spent the next few hours frantically trying to track Danny down, calling around all his friends and family.

At 2am, she noticed her WhatsApps to Danny had been read.

But relief turned to anger as he reappeared the next day and carried on as if nothing had happened.

Almost immediately, Shirley realised that despite being together for six years, she couldn't have someone in her life who could cause her such agony again.

TRAUMA

She says: "I will never forget that day until the day I die.

"I remember looking across in the middle of the night and I saw my mother was just so upset, reliving all of her trauma. I just thought 'this can't go on'. Not just for my sake but my mum too."

Shirley is opening up to the Mirror as she prepares to release her memoir, Best Foot Forward.

And talking to the warmhearted star, it's clear the night of her birthday last September has left an indelible mark.

"I still loved Danny but I thought this is something I can't continue to be a part of," Shirley explains. "It's all very sad."

She and Danny, who is 13 years younger, met while doing panto together in 2018.