We don't know what you're talking about

THERE is one perennial mystery about which women are none the wiser — what on earth it is that men talk about when they are together?

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Actor and comic David Mitchell, half of the hilarious duo Mitchell and Webb, does his best to shine a light on the age-old conundrum, but succeeds only in further muddying the waters. He informs us that men don’t chat or gossip, but take polite turns to “have a little mutual explain” to one another, delivering mini-lectures on a variety of topics, and never under any circumstances venturing into a discussion about emotions or feelings.

For example, Mitchell never thought to alight more than fleetingly on comedy partner Robert Webb’s chain-smoking and battle with alcoholism. Webb ended up having open-heart surgery and eventually giving up drink and cigarettes. Says Mitchell: “We had the odd conversation that referenced it.” Similarly, Webb didn’t think to probe when Mitchell found love with QI presenter Victoria Coren and married her in 2012, commenting: “We didn’t have long chats about David’s love life, particularly.”