FESTIVE FLASHBACK HITS HARD

FORTY years ago tonight, had you switched on Channel 5 in search of something Christmassy to watch, you'd have been disappointed.

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For one thing, you'd have found nothing in its schedules with the word "Christmas" in the title. Seriously, not a single show.

For another, you'd have found nothing in its schedules full-stop. That's when the penny would have dropped. “Oh, silly me!” youd have exclaimed, slapping your forehead and chuckling at your elementary error. “Channel 5 doesn't exist yet, does it? This is December 12, 1985. We've got another 12 years to wait. It's going to be torture.”