RICHARD IRVINE

DOUBLE TROUBLE FOR A FIRST TIME DAD OF TWINS

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Either Emma was making breakfast, or the mice we'd discovered in the kitchen could operate a toaster.

Since she'd happily exist on white sliced bread for ever more, I decided it was our eight-year-old.

Rather than interfere, I left her to it, since this was the kind of independence to be encouraged, imagining a future where my children exist as simply flat mates requiring little parenting.

When I heard her footsteps retreat from the kitchen, I checked the area for cleanliness before congratulating her.

It turned out she'd left it in better shape than I had, placing my butter-covered knife in the dishwasher and wiping away my spilled coffee.

From now own, breakfast was Emma's domain, although we'd be looking to add porridge to the menu over time to diversity her diet.