An aspirational Christmas

I am going to make a banana and artichoke wreath to put on the door. Why? Because 'tis the time of the year when one must, by law, deck the halls with boughs of holly while singing, tunelessly, fa, la, la, la, la, etc. And one must, again by law, have a homemade Christmas wreath to hang on the door to show you are not just the perfect homemaker, but you are also enviably creative. I don't think anything could express your enviable creativity better than a banana and artichoke wreath.

- By Michele Hewitson

I don't have the foggiest idea how to make a wreath. Thank goodness for Meghan, Duchess of Sussex. Which is the first time any columnist has ever written that particular sentence. And the last.

Honestly, I'm starting to feel sorry for Meghan Markle. No, I'm really not. She's so silly. She talks in a language known as California woke-speak. She seems to have no idea she's not being aspirational. She's just showing off. No wonder the Brits hate her. Nobody hates a showoff like a Brit. Except perhaps New Zealanders.

Everyone likes to play shooting Markle in a barrel. But she could just stop showing off and everyone would go away and find somebody else to shoot in a barrel.

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