TRY THE Orange Peel APPROACH

It's a sure cure for a case of keeping up appearances

- BY Robin Worthington

Mental health, like dandruff, crops up when you least expect it. There was the day, for instance, that I ducked into the supermarket with a scarf tied over my curlers, trying to look inconspicuous. I never go out with my hair in curlers. But visitors were arriving at short notice, and my emergency shelf was pared down to one jar of pickled onions and two tins of liver-flavoured dog food.

Anyway, I wouldn't meet anyone I knew. Please, not anyone neat I knew.

But there was Helen, before the low-fat yoghurt display, immaculate in a coral linen pants suit.

I slammed the shopping trolley into reverse and wheeled round, only to be greeted with, “Hello there!” from my neighbour Liz, exquisitely slender in a turquoise shift.

“Hi,” I returned feebly, pulling my slob scarf down over the plastic rollers. “I never go shopping like this.”

Surely, I thought, there must be someone here who looks as crummy as I do.

That's when good old Sally appeared, wearing a faded gold sweat-shirt, paint-spotted slacks and frayed floral tennis shoes.

“You're beautiful,” I told her. “Tell me, why do I run into everyone I know when I look like this?”