I’m a Hero Behind the Wheel

The automobile industry is spending billions on self-driving cars, just so we can sit in the back seat being chauffeured around, like some high-powered corporate executive. But what if we quite like driving?

- Richard Glover

On holiday a few years ago, I spent hours being transported on trains, buses and planes. You sit there, bored and fidgeting. You read a novel for a while, then stare glumly out the window. You wonder if the bus driver or train driver or pilot could do with a little bit of assistance.

You’ve been turned into cargo, being shifted from one location to another.

Then, finally, comes the section of the holiday during which you hire a set of wheels. Oh boy. Suddenly, the cargo has been given agency. It’s even more fun if you are driving on the side of the road opposite to what you are used to.

After decades of marriage, it’s not often that you receive unalloyed praise from your partner, but on the highways of Crete compliments come with every successful manoeuvre.

“Oh, well done!” says Jocasta, her voice full of admiration, as I navigate a roundabout without killing us both.

“Just put me in the gutter,” she adds as we make a left turn, helping me to remember what side I should be driving on. It sounds like a scene from Fifty Shades of Grey, but is merely a reminder that the passenger should find themselves closest to the outer edge of the road.