Female Fantasy

In her third novel, Female Fantasy, author Iman Hariri-Kia creates multiple plotlines (there's a road trip and a kidnapping and... merpeople) that serve as both sharp cultural commentary and an ode to online romance fandoms. Dive in to meet our hero, Joonie, who's looking for love IRL while obsessing over her romantasy book boyfriend, Rykeat least, until her worlds start to collide....

- by IMAN HARIRI-KIA

So, let me get this straight: You're breaking up with me to be with someone who doesn't exist?" A dribble of Busch Light trickles down Job's chin like a loose tear. Sighing, I pick up my napkin and dab at it. "Not to be with him," I explain for the zillionth time. "Because of him." The line cook calls out an order from the back of the house. A baby emphatically flaps his arms, knocking over a large Sprite. Job tugs at the bottom of his The Spice Must Flow! T-shirt, a nervous tic I picked up almost immediately upon meeting him. At first, I found it kind of endearing. I mean, if I made him uncomfortable, that must mean he really liked me, right? But after a couple of weeks, I came to the unfortunate conclusion that it was just another coping mechanism, one that allowed him to avoid confrontation (and eye contact) for as long as humanly possible.

In total, Job and I have spent about three months dating, but so little of that was quality time that it might as well have been three minutes-which is, coincidentally, about how long he lasts in bed.

If I'm being generous.