LESS CONTROL, MORE CONNECTION

The real message parents should take from the series Adolescence isn't to limit social media – it's to strengthen their relationship with their teens

- WENDY STELZMANN

ADOLESCENCE. It's always been a tricky time. Parents the world over can at-test to that.

It's a stage of life when young people are trying to figure out who they are, when they're pulling away from their parents, yearning for freedom and looking for belonging and validation elsewhere.

And as the chilling Netflix show of the same name has shown, these days that "elsewhere" is often online - because that's where our teens live so much of their lives.

The four-part drama series Adolescence, which critics have described as brilliant, gripping and terrifying, tells the story of 13-year-old Jamie who is arrested on suspicion of murdering a female classmate.

As the drama unfolds it becomes clear Jamie lives in a world his parents know very little about, and it's this uncomfortable truth that has given the parents of teens a lot to think about. How would you know if your teen son is being drawn into the “manosphere”, as it’s called, where extremist influencers and groups are pushing back against gender equality and spread hateful ideas about women?

How do you even talk to them when they interact with the world in a completely different way and use language you don't understand? When their messages are littered with abbreviations that look like Greek to you and emojis have hidden meanings?

It's scary to think about what teens are being exposed to online, and it's easy for parents to panic and want to limit this exposure. But that's not what parents' main focus should be, says US teen and parenting coach Dr Cam Caswell.

Yes, tech is addictive. And yes, social media exposes them to harmful content and can lead them to some dark places. But what parents should take from Adolescence is the importance of really connecting with your teen.