JUST say NO

Let's admit it - some of us are big people-pleasers. We don't want to let anyone down, and we feel like saying 'no' to a favour, an invite, a request or a suggestion is rude. The truth is, we can say no, and there are polite ways to do it.

- SAHRAH ENOUS

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT

Leave behind the belief that saying no is 'selfish'. Most of us feel this way because as children we had to do anything and everything our parents told us to. But that's all in the past now. According to executive coach Peter Bregman, writing in Harvard Business Review, it's important to 'Know your no' that is, identifying what's important to you and what's not. "Before you can say no with confidence, you have to be clear that you want to say no." Remember, too, that "you are saying no to the request, not the person", which helps to avoid feeling guilt-tripped. And if someone is being particularly pushy, mirror their behaviour and push right back (in a light-hearted way).

COMMUNICATE CLEARLY

Responses like 'Maybe' and 'I'll try' don't serve either party. It can lead to false expectations. Agreeing to a favour at work, for example, might cause you to under-deliver and create the impression that you didn't put in your best effort (or, worse, that you're incompetent).

In the case of friends and family, saying no can actually save you from hurting their feelings and putting a strain on your relationship. If you half-heartedly agree to do something with them, they'll notice you're not on the same 'vibe' and feel offended, which is what you didn't want! Bregman states that giving a reason for saying no is important, too - it doesn't matter what the reason is; it matters that there is a reason.