Not half good

Americans have taken boat upcycling and recycling to another level

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Round here in my part of Essex, we're pretty good at recycling, especially the bloke at number 25, who's so committed to saving the planet he empties more green and brown bottles of their contents than anyone else in the street [Ed's note: that’s Dave's house].

As for wheelie bins, most have been recycled into outboard motor trolleys and flushing tanks. We also used to use them as bins until the bin men went on strike after an outbreak of back injuries. The industrial action was settled when the council issued a notice banning collection of Seagull outboards.

At the top of my road on the verge and on virtually every roundabout, there's another old dinghy that, at this time of year, is a riot of floral spring fragrance and colour.

One benefit of this proliferation of perennial prettiness is that if you've got relatives visiting by car, you can just tell them to ‘turn left at the roundabout with the boat planter’ and they'll never find her house.