How could I choose between my Twins?

Katie Finch was excitedly planning for motherhood when she had to face a heartbreaking decision

- Frances Leate, Vicky Williams

Maybe it sounds obvious to say, but from the moment you find out you’re going to be a mother, everything changes. You’re no longer just responsible for yourself, and there are decisions suddenly to be made – from what colour to paint the nursery, to the more daunting birth plan. But those were all things I wanted to make a decision about. What I didn’t want, what no one wants, is the choice I was given – which would mean the life or death of one of my unborn children.

My husband, Billy, and I felt the typical mix of emotions when we discovered, at our 12-week scan, that I was carrying fraternal twins – joy, shock, with fear thrown in. Yet once we’d digested the news, we realised our two-for-one pregnancy was ideal: we’d always dreamt of having two children – this way we were just getting them at the same time.

My bump grew quickly, and by our 20-week scan in November 2017, Billy and I were eager to see our twins again. I felt a fresh jolt of excitement when the sonographer told us it was a boy and a girl. Only, as we watched two sets of little legs and feet, two arms and hands, and two tiny heads on the monitor, the sonographer disappeared, returning with a consultant. He spent half an hour examining the grainy image on the screen. Something was wrong.

Billy squeezed my hand as the consultant took a deep breath before turning to us and explaining that, while our baby boy was healthy, our little girl had a huge hole in her heart. He told us he didn’t expect her to survive to birth.