What Makes a Person Attractive?

Dr Ichak Adizes shares his experience on what we find attractive in other people, and the importance of humor in relationships.

- By Dr Ichak Adizes

If you ask a man what makes a person attractive, you will get a different answer than if you ask a woman. Men, as I understand, usually focus on physical attributes – the legs, the breasts, etc. Women tend to focus on the brain and on a man’s ability to support and defend, etc. I have another idea, which I hope both sexes can agree to. And if you predict that it has something to do with integration, you’re right.

When a person has it “all together,” that is, they are integrated, none of their energy is wasted. This person exudes energy, while a person who is “falling apart” takes energy from the people around them. Who is attractive? Those that give you energy, not those who take from you. People who “have it together” are attractive. Those that are “falling apart” are not.