angel in the Mall

This article, the first Transformation ever published of Noelle’s, is dedicated to her beloved Tony P., who recently went on to another exciting journey.

- Noelle Sterne

On a sunny Sunday afternoon, my husband and I headed for the busy upscale mall outside town. I dressed up—trendy earrings, understated sexy blouse, tailored slacks, matching bag and shoes. We visited a few shops together, then agreed to browse separately and meet in two hours at the front entrance.

I’d been to every shop but the European baby boutique and had spent a lot of money without guilt. In both hands, I gripped my prizes—entwined handles of shiny, smart-logoed, overflowing shopping bags.

I should have felt wonderful. But my purchases barely veiled my heaviness. At the imported pen shop, my husband and I had had yet another fight. I didn’t want to admit it, but they were becoming too frequent.

Each time, the anger on both sides had been surprisingly intense and the vitriol unbridled. The cliché about marital arguments is true: I couldn’t even remember the subjects of the last few.

Reliving my outbursts, I felt ashamed and helpless. Now, despite the new acquisitions and plush surroundings, I fell deeper into depression.