How To Deal With Long-Distance Tragedy!

For the 1 .6 million foreign residents in Singapore, isolation from extended family can be a confronting and lonely experience. However, most expats are prepared for the challenge of building and maintaining a day-to-day support network in lieu of homeland connections. Yet nothing can prepare you for the illness or death of a loved one back home. It’s in these moments of despair and helplessness (and often guilt) that each kilometre between here and there can feel like a light-year of emptiness.

- Kim Forrester

Todd received the phone call two days into the New Year; his father, who had been battling ill health for some time, was in hospital after a series of severe strokes. Although he wasn’t close to his father, the implications for Todd were clear; if he did not get on a plane immediately, he might lose any chance of saying his final farewells.

Even armed with this knowledge, the decision to travel 8,500 kilometres did not come easily. How long would he need to stay? How could he juggle work and family commitments over that time? And did he actually want to go?

Death, sickness or other family emergencies are distressing at any time. But for expats, the complications of living far from home can heighten feelings of isolation, guilt and helplessness. Nothing can ease the emotional rollercoaster of these situations – but there are some simple practices that can make you stronger and more resilient as you deal with the distance.

Acknowledge your needs

From the moment you become aware of an emergency back home, there is an automatic and intense focus on the individuals affected; your compassion, support, concern and attention is directed outward, toward others. This is a natural and necessary reaction.