Car Trouble

Some problems i’ve noticed with my self-driving vehicle.

- Jack Hauen

Dear Google,

I am writing to you because I am wholly dissatisfied with nearly every aspect of my recently purchased self driving car. It has caused me nothing but trouble during its first week of use. Here is a list of grievances I would like you to address:

1. My self-driving car cannot exceed 45 kilometres per hour.

2. The seating is extremely uncomfortable. I have constant groin pain.

3. It has no doors.

4. It has no roof.

5. It was only available in brown. 6. I feel bad kicking it to increase speed—are you sure that doesn’t hurt?