Keep The Fires Burning

Who says the birth of your baby needs to spell the end of your sex life?

- Biddi Rorke

In the maelstrom of breastfeeding, broken sleep and the weighty-responsibility that comes with being a parent, it’s all too easy to forget why you and your partner got together in the first place.

“If you have a baby that only sleeps for 20 minutes at a stretch, his nap time isn’t the ideal time to try and be intimate, unless you’re very quick about your business!” says one exasperated new mom. “It’s difficult for me to switch from mom mode to wife mode when my husband gets that look in his eye.”

IT’S NOT IMPOSSIBLE

The good news is that despite the many stories your friends may have to the contrary, there really is hope for your sex life in the months after giving birth – and many say your life between the sheets gets even better once you’ve become a parent. The trick, according to the experts, is to reinvent your expectations of intimacy, rather than relegating it to the last thing on your to-do list.

Leandie Buys, a Port Elizabeth clinical sexologist and author of Seasons of Sex, says that visualising your partner as they looked in your early days of dating, and allowing yourself to feel the excitement you used to feel goes a long way towards keeping the sexual spark alive as parents. And as always, communication is vital.

“You and your partner are going through so many changes,” Leandie says. “It’s important that you share your feelings with your partner. Talk about your concerns, your desires, your needs, your preferences and your expectations. The more open and honest you are with each other, the deeper your emotional and sexual bond becomes.”

DON’T RULE OUT THE QUICKIE