Our Man On The Radio Is Nervous Of Take Aways

Oh, great – a takeaway special.

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The last thing I need right now is a takeaway special – especially from people who have, no doubt, done specials on personal trainers, the best place to get a salad and how to juggle full-moon yoga and your underwater spin class. I am the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life.

It was all going so well, too.

I was taking part in all the Spinneys Dubai 92 Cycle Challenge rides last year. I was eating a combination of rabbit food and air, whilst the diuretic tea was going through me like a fireman’s hose. But then I fell off the wagon. Actually, that needs fact checking – I didn’t fall off the wagon. The wagon creaked and splintered beneath my growing posterior, before finally giving up the ghost and collapsing into kindling.