Stop Complaining, Start Living

Constant lamenting and looking only through the negative lens can wreak havoc on your life. Hemchhaya De finds out how to curb such an attitude

- Hemchhaya De

Simply put, complaining means voicing your opinion about something you feel isn’t right or satisfactory. There can be varying degrees—whining, nagging, lamenting, remonstrating, objecting, or criticising. All these words convey an underlying tone of negativity. At the outset, however, we should draw a line between complaining for a valid reason and complaining out of habit. The former is about raising a principled objection to any wrongdoing. For instance, if you have been unfairly charged with a traffic violation, you have every right to complain. The latter involves constantly ranting about how life has dealt you an unfair deal, or how every person around you is out to take undue advantage of you, and looking for someone or something to blame for your situation.

Experts say that if complaining becomes your second nature, you can suffer in more ways than one. “Complaining seems like an almost natural reaction to those things that are not going as per our expectations or desires. If it is transient, it may not be too harmful; it may even release bottled-up feelings,” says Dr Sanjay Garg, consultant, Department of Mental Health and Behavioural Sciences, Fortis Hospital, Kolkata. “But, when complaining becomes too frequent or prolonged, it can start having toxic effects on our overall well-being.”

WHY DO WE COMPLAIN?