How To Deal With Meddlesome People Politely Yet Firmly

Whatever the situation—a job hunt, moving out, a divorce or postponing having a child—‘well-wishers’ in your life are sure to enquire after it. Mridula Vinod shows you how to politely, but firmly, deflect nosy parkers.

- Mridula Vinod

It has been three months since Priyam*, an accounts manager with an advertising agency, announced she was getting a divorce. Since then, her relatives and family friends have concocted innumerable possible reasons to explain her decision— which means that through the stress of separation, Priyam has to deal with these comments too. “I have heard it all. Some say I must adjust because it will reflect badly on my parents; others say I should take my husband’s money; and recently, my mom’s sister unabashedly said (at a gathering) that I should have a child to salvage my relationship. I put my plate of food down, walked out of the venue and drove straight to work. Three hours later, I came back home to a very solemn-faced aunt.”

Priyam’s case isn’t an isolated one. From enquiries about how much we earn, and when we plan to get married, to how often we have unprotected sex (in other words, ‘Hope you’ll give us the ‘good news’ soon!’), inappropriate questions are in no short supply around us. Almost all of us have encountered these self-proclaimed well-wishers at some point in our lives, and we cultivate unique ways to deal with them. But what drives this bunch to constantly ask after another individual’s personal affairs? Being at the receiving end of a nosy person’s umpteen intimate, questions can be more annoying than being the subject of gossip.