Is He Just Acting His Age?

If your child melts down, talks back, or ignores you, it could be because he’s still a little kid! Consider this a reality check.

- Jennifer Benjamin

AS A WORK-at-home mom of 4-year-old twins, let me tell you: This past year was rough. Was it as ‘terrible’ as the twos? Uh, worse. Were they moody, impossible-to-please ‘threenagers’? Well, big time. But then I had an epiphany when we were at a family party at my sons’ preschool. When it was time to leave, Miles and Danny ran away as I tried to wrangle them, threw toys, and grabbed cookies off the unmanned bake-sale table. Seeing my situation, one of the teachers said, “What do you expect? They’re 3.”

Later, when I asked the boys why they hadn’t listened to me, one of them responded, “Because we wanted to stay at the party.” I couldn’t argue with their explanation. At that age, children are all about instant gratification, and the concept of behaving is still a work in progress. So really, what could I expect?

“Toddlers and preschoolers aren’t behaving maliciously; they’re just trying to get their needs met, whether it’s attention or a later bedtime,” says Alyson Schafer, author of Honey, I Wrecked the Kids. Here’s a lowdown on some of their most frustrating behaviours.

not listening

When you ask your child to put down the iPad and get into the tub, it might seem like he’s pretending he didn’t hear you. “As parents, we often jump to the conclusion that our children intentionally aren’t listening to us. But often, they’re just distracted or having too much fun to pay attention,” explains Dr. Shefali Tsabary, author of The Awakened Family.