How To Prevent A Family Feud

Most volatile family agribusiness disputes have deep-rooted causes that stem from secrecy, distrust and avoidance. By confronting these issues early on, conflict can be avoided, says Trevor Dickinson.

- Trevor Dickinson

The most infamous and intractable form of family conflict is the family feud. Little wonder, then, that it is the theme of so many TV soap operas. But while family feuds may be fascinating in their universality, they can cause profound emotional pain and do great harm to a business.

Family feuds can be complex, but certain elements stand out. In most cases, the parties are more invested in being ‘right’ and keeping their distance than in the painful task of sitting down with their rivals and trying to get to the root of the issue, and forging a compromise. Compromise is seen as a weakness, and hurting the other person is seen as more important than self-interest.

Family feuds usually involve two people who see each other’s motives in black and white, with no neutral third party to intervene. Feuding parties tend to communicate poorly and are unable to accept differences. They perceive unfairness in the way they are treated and feel wronged. There is usually a patriarch or matriarch on the scene or in the wings who is distant, stern, demanding, and unclear about his or her intentions.

SIBLING RIVALRIES THAT ESCALATE

Feuds often erupt between children or heirs, and the seeds of a family feud are often planted years in advance. In many cases, patriarchs don’t let their children know where they stand on important issues or what they expect from them. An agribusiness owner who hasn’t revealed a successor, for example, can precipitate a nasty fight if he or she dies unexpectedly.