Here to help

LET COUNSELLOR KEREN LIGHTEN YOUR LOAD

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Dreading the Christmas juggle

My kids have both paired up this year and want to spend Christmas Day with their partners. One wants to do the morning and lunch with us, and then go off, while the other wants to come in the afternoon and have dinner. I don't want to be making two meals. It all seems such a rush, with no one that interested in being with us.

Dianne, Dorset

It's hard when our children grow up and want to do their own thing. Do you remember when you wanted to do exactly that yourself? It is part of the evolution of a family. I think the first step to manage this is to embrace this next stage and let them know you're pleased. Tell them that you want to share Christmas with their partners, but also understand that their partners' parents will feel the same. Once they know you're happy, you can talk about the logistics and see if they could visit you at the same time. If it's too late for that this year, suggest they flag it up in time next year so it doesn't become an annual problem.

Motherhood has changed me

I am in my very early 40s and have just become a mother. I have always been career-driven, and agreed finally to have a child, as my husband was so keen. I said I'd have four months off and then go back to work. I now can't bear the thought. How can I leave this precious bundle to someone else? I don't know why we waited so long.

Angie, London