COMMANDER IS THRILLED

When the quest to find a groom for a daughter takes a hilarious turn.

- Snigdha S Jauhari

The commander was my friend. His wife had left him a long time ago. She had remarried and was living in the USA.

I was about his daughter's age and, according to him, even resembled her.

“You both are equally dark and darling,” he would say. His daughter also lived in the USA.

When the Commander felt that she should get married, he wrote to all his relatives:

“A marriageable-age daughter is a father’s concern—especially if she is of a high pedigree. I commission you respectfully to find a groom who is of a high pedigree—like an Alsatian among dogs.”

In response, all his relatives protested—some vehemently. A few called the German Shepherd the best. Some batted for Golden Retrievers. One strongly backed the mongrels and wrote: “I have three strays. They are loyal and loving. They do more than any son-in-law would do for an aging father-in-law.”

Another wrote: “Pom! Pom is the best! A pomeranian— a cuddly one—is a delight. Look for the ‘cuddle’ quality.”

“No,” Commander grunted decisively. “Cuddling a mint-fresh son-in-law is not my habit. I will go for The Breed.”

“Commander,” I asked, “what makes you think your daughter would agree to your matchmaking? Wouldn’t she do it herself?”

“Your question is valid,” Commander said. “The answer is that she has asked me to find a husband for her.”

Resignedly, I shrugged.

“There are matrimonial sites,” I informed him helpfully. “I could help you navigate those, in case you...”

“Pooh, pooh!” he growled, interrupting me. “A volcano of erupting lies!”

So, he advertised in the newspapers:

‘Retd. Commander (though treated as General because of his bearing and demeanour), 56 years of age, strong, virile, virtuous. Served in three wars and fought like a lion of highest pedigree. Hailed as the deserving soldier for Param Vir Chakra (but did not receive), seeks a son-in-law.’