Why gossiping IS GOOD FOR YOU

Samantha Wood looks at why sneakily sharing stories can be a form of self-care

- 

My favourite 'gossip gone bad' story happened to my good friend Anthony*. He'd started a new job and would gossip to us about his strict boss, but because we'd never met her, he decided that printing off her photo from the work intranet would be the perfect way to put a face to all of his tittle-tattle. However, this plan majorly backfired when, instead of printing out just her picture, his computer sent the entire company's staff photos to print, alerting his boss, who sat next to the machine as it began churning - and churning - them all out. When she asked why he wanted the pictures of over 280 members of staff, all he could think to reply was 'to show my friends'.

Anthony still winces about it to this day, and if you've ever been caught red-handed gossiping, or had your whispers overheard, you'll know the stomach-churning, cheek-burning shame it can so easily cause. Yet, the majority of us still do it - because there's nothing quite like sharing a deliciously juicy bit of information with someone, is there?

'Humans have an innate desire to know about other people's lives, and knowing what they're up to gives us a sense of belonging and makes us feel safe,' says psychotherapist Eloise Skinner (eloiseskinner.com). 'People have been sharing information like this since we evolved in tribal communities. It makes us feel connected, validating our thoughts and values - especially when the subject of the gossip is positioned as the outsider.'