My husband GAVE ME HIV

Despite the ultimate betrayal, Veritee Reed-Hall stood by her man

-  JOHANNA BELL

One moment of madness can change the course of your life forever, and that couldn’t be truer for me and my husband Barry. A disastrous mistake almost cost Barry his life, risked both of our long-term health, and came close to destroying our marriage.

When Barry, then 52, kept picking up infections like coughs and sniffles and losing weight in 2004, he had one doctor’s appointment after another. He was diagnosed with bronchitis and put on steroids but, after two years, had gone drastically downhill and, in December 2006, I had a flash of clarity. A friend had died from AIDS in 1984, back when there was no treatment. And Barry reminded me of my friend near the end – gaunt and deathly pale – and I became certain that this was what he had too.

Then 53, my career as a youth worker specialising in sexual health meant I was knowledgeable about HIV and AIDS at a time when many were still ignorant. I knew the most common way of passing on HIV was through unprotected sex so alongside the fear that the man I loved was dying came the realisation that, if I was correct, it was likely he’d cheated on me, and I was also at risk.

A seaman in the Merchant Navy, Barry worked away for weeks, sometimes months, at a time. Married since 1987 and parents to a daughter born two years later, I’d always been faithful and it hadn’t occurred to me that my quiet, shy husband might play away. Now I couldn’t get it out of my mind.