Speaking volumes THE ART OF CONVERSATION

In a world of thumbs-up emojis and one-way voice memos, are we forgetting how to converse? Writer Alley Pascoe engages in an experiment in listening and genuine two-way chatting

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The Friday drinks were casual, but I was nervous. I was meeting my fiancé's work colleagues for the first time and I wanted to make a good impression. On the way to the pub, I rehearsed some small talk in my mind. “How was your day, Alley?” “Great, thanks! I finally finished a book manuscript I've been working on for five months. Cheers to that.”

In my imaginary conversation, I clinked schooners with my new acquaintances in celebration. In real life, however, the cheers-ing didn't happen because the question never came up.

Sitting at a table in the beer garden, I happily introduced myself to my fiancé's team. I asked about the week that was and the weekend ahead. Curious, I asked about the big project they were working on, their roles and how they got into the field. With every question, I waited for the serve to be returned. And waited. But my questions weren't reciprocated.

I soon realised I wasn't playing conversational tennis – I was hitting a ball against a brick wall.

Don't get me wrong – the people I met in the beer garden weren't intentionally being rude or unsociable. They simply weren't engaging in a two-way conversation. I'm a journalist – I ask questions for a living – so I wasn't fazed by doing the heavy lifting. Although I couldn't help but wonder: Have we lost the art of conversation?

Having the thought was like finding my first grey hair. Once I started spotting signs, I couldn't stop seeing them. Traces of the downfall of real talk were everywhere.